I didn't mind the herb-pepper-meat pile on top, except the turkey sausage, which tasted like it had gone off, to a point where I couldn't bring myself to swallow that mouthful.
Shrimp Po' Boy ($17.95)
"Lightly seasoned and fried cornmeal-panko shrimp" (translation: intensely salted and dried-herbed batter over shrimp" were fried quite well and of ample size, but there were maybe six of them in the massive roll; pretty quickly, you end up with the end of a big crusty roll, with only mayo, lettuce, tomato, and pickle.
Guy's American Kitchen and Bar
Neon sign, in true Broadway fashion.
Rojo Onion Rings ($9.95)
One of the better choices. They've got an appealing panko crust and a slightly spicy ranchlike dipping sauce that ended up being one of the best things we tasted. It tastes like something they'd deliver with your Domino's order to dip your breadsticks in (though if that were served at Guy's, it'd probably be "breadstix.")
Guy's Big Bite Burger ($13.95)
Bun notwithstanding, it wasn't a bad burger by any means; it delivered the juicy, beefy satisfaction of, say, a Wendy's burger. (Though for the price, that's about a dozen Wendy's burgers.) But "Guy's Pat LaFrieda custom blend of all-natural Creekstones Farm black Angus beef" ends up leaving no particular impression. The much-discussed "Donkey Sauce" ends up getting somewhat lost in the bun and toppings—"LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), and SMC (super-melty-cheese)."
Not quite medium rare, but not a terrible burger.
Buffalo Bleu-Sabi Ain't No Thing Butta Chicken Wing ($13.50)
While not perfectly crisp, they're better than you'll find at plenty of bars around town. "It's considerate that they pre-sauce the celery and carrots," quipped Max. Resident wings expert Ben Fishner voiced his approval, even suggesting that they might become his "go-to pre-theater wings spot." But at more than a dollar a wing... well, we could probably do better.
Bacon Mac n Cheese ($14.95)
Multiple cheeses, bacon, and Goldfish as a crunchy topping? This couldn't be bad...
But it was delivered with head-scratching instructions: "There's more cheese in the middle, so make sure you stir it all up!" What that meant: a softened, misshapen, but by no means melted slice of American cheese hiding out halfway into the noodle bed, resisting our efforts to "stir" and ending up doing little but adhering a few elbow noodles to each other. And that was one of the better dishes we tried.
Vegas Fries ($9.95)
Called "A throw-back to Guy's UNLV day's!" [sic], they're fries tossed in Buffalo sauce (whose presence we hardly noticed) in a portion that, at most restaurants, would be a side dish. The "Bleu-Sabi" essentially delivered what was promised—a creamy, not-too-funky blue cheese sauce laced with a noticeable but mild wasabi kick—but a "dish" worthy of $10, this was not.
Root Beer Pork Ribs ($26.50)
Nearly inedible, their "Heartland Root Beer and brown sugar BBQ sauce" cloying and eerily medicinal—reminding me uncomfortably of the grape-flavored Dimetapp my mother would make me drink when I came down with a cold.
Inside the Ribs
"Guy's Margarita de la Casa" ($12.50)
Blanco tequila, Cointreau, agave, and "Fresh Squeezed Lime Sour" (which is terminology we found a little puzzling, but hey, we'll go with it), it's on par with what you'd find at most cheap Mexican spots, or a TGI Friday's.
Big Island Punch ($13)
We're not looking for the forefront of modern mixology here. But I can say without hesitation that Dave and Buster's makes better drinks.
The front bar... with a gift shop sharing this level.
Fried Ice Cream ($11)
A misshapen lump of unappealingly breaded ice cream, a sort of mushy cornflake event with nearly rock-hard ice cream in the middle.
... No caption necessary.
Salted Whiskey Caramel Fool ($12)
It had us believing that we'd been brought the wrong dessert, so small a role did the not-that-salty caramel play; it's really a glass of pound cake cubes with frozen-tasting strawberries and a healthy ploof of whipped cream. Nothing really got eaten except the whipped cream.
This Is AMERICA
In case you'd forgotten.
Cookin' it. Lovin' it.